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Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I oncesingle-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from ahorde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scoutedby the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'mbored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urbanhang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electricalappliances free of charge.
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I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I canpilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cookThirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco,a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadlyaccuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and DavidCopperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entiredining room that evening. I know the exact location of every fooditem in the supermarket. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, Isleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfullynegotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a smallbakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
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