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The biggest problem with this personal statement is its lack of specific details. The reader doesn’t feel like he or she gets to know the applicant. The writer doesn’t explain why he respects Winston Churchill, nor does he explain how the quote applies specifically to him. Furthermore, he gives no specific details about the law school he is applying to and why he feels he is a good match for that school. The reader learns from this statement that the writer feels he has improved as a student thanks to a teacher named Dr. Smith. There are no specific details about the author or his mentor. The reader is also told that the applicant began school with four credits and graduated from USC in three years, all of which can be learned from the transcript.
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A theme can be quite hard to find. Also, for most people, the first theme you try will not work as well as you wish. You will need time to ruminate on your essay in the shower, at night before bed, on long drives, etc. (yes, you need to become somewhat obsessed with this piece of writing). Very few people will strike gold on their first attempt. Don’t be afraid to scrap the entire thing and start over. Also, don’t wait until you think you have the “perfect” theme before starting. You need to write – getting anything down on paper will help you think through the essay in ways that you cannot do solely in your head.
For many people (including myself), writing an effective Personal Statement cannot be done alone. In addition to the challenges of finding a compelling theme or story, I find it very tough to “open up” to the level needed for a great Personal Statement unless I am pushed to do so. In my experience, this is true for most people. We have a tendency to be somewhat insular with our true goals, hopes, and desires – yet getting those on paper will greatly increase the effectiveness of your essay. I have thus found it to be of great help to have other people review and comment on these essays. Because Personal Statements are so “personal,” it can be a good idea to find reviewers outside of your close friends or family. This will increase your ability to write very personally and will ensure that your editors are comfortable providing candid feedback.
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This essay is too focused on the details of the story and fails to give sufficient evidence for why this person is a good candidate for law school. This essay is structured as a personal narrative, and the topic is the applicant’s professional experience. The first paragraph is well written but is wholly descriptive prose that has very little to do with why this person is a good candidate for law school. The first paragraph lacks a thesis or a direction for the essay. Ideally, the reader should find a microcosm of the essay in the first paragraph.
This applicant demonstrated his strong written communication skills by writing a compelling statement that uses several kinds of rhetorical appeals. Logic is used to show how his analytical ability helps to keep the company afloat in the same waters where others have foundered. He uses touches of pathos when he describes the “primordial soup of intellectual invention” inside the cramped office. The analogy in which he compares his small start-up and the industry leader to David and Goliath uses both pathos and mythos to excellent effect: The story is one everyone knows, and so just by invoking the names, the writer brings a powerful story into his narrative without using valuable space. This mythic story becomes a theme woven throughout the essay. It is a rhetorical device that establishes a connection in the reader’s mind between this candidate and David, a leader known for his compassionate ethos. This writer has also composed the statement so that he comes across as an authoritative, competent, thoughtful, and honest leader. This statement helped earn the applicant acceptance to NYU and Columbia Law Schools.
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Personal Statement Essay For College Applications Makes A Good
In the summary of outcome paragraph, you tell the professor the bottom line - i.e. your resolution of the case - and why. It helps to give a framework for the rest of the paper. The problem with the summary of the outcome paragraph is that students sometimes change their mind on the conclusion of the problem in the middle of the essay. In the process of the analysis, they see something that leads them to another way of thinking. However, if you've already written your first paragraph, that realization makes for a lot of stress since you're now defending a position you don't think is correct.
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The second-to-last paragraph packs in the most value to the admissions committee for the space used, but the background story is important for this paragraph to be so powerful. To make the background story do more work for him, the writer could plant more indicators of his positive qualities and characteristics in the early part of the essay. For example, he could mention how he used his oral communication skills to communicate with his design team and supervisors, so that the admissions committee knows he feels that mastery of oral communication skills is important.
what makes a good common application essay
A couple words of warning before closing out this bullet: Do not write an essay on why the legal profession is a noble one. Do not write about the importance of law in a civilized society (at least in a broad context). Everyone on the admissions committee already believes these things and assumes you do to. They are trying to determine whether you are a good fit for law school, not whether law school or the legal profession are good in general. Thus you must present your story – and how law school fits into it.
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This is an excellent personal statement because it shows this candidate has had a tangible impact on organizations, and probably on the global economy. The statement keeps the reader engaged by giving a meaningful story with background, context, conflict, and resolution. It also provides a peek into the mysterious and increasingly legendary world of Silicon Valley start-ups. This is a good model for someone who has been out of college for a while, but who hasn’t been working in a law firm. The essay is focused on career goals, with career history to back up the writer’s plans. This person is a doer, not a dreamer. The writer shows a depth of technical knowledge and strong analytic reasoning skills that go far beyond linear thinking, especially in the description of finding new solutions to highly technical problems that do not violate patents. The statement creates desire in the admissions committee to admit this person because other companies seek to hire the applicant and venture capitalists are willing to support the applicant with substantial funds. This statement will inspire members of the admissions committee to act on the applicant’s behalf because he has successfully reached beyond the safety net of college.
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